Hooray Martha Beck

I could not have written the article better myself. A big "hooray" goes to Martha Beck for her March 2002 article, re-published this month on CNN.com/living (where I first read it) Is it Love or a Mutual Strangulation Society? Beck details what it takes to have an honest and lasting relationship. Be aware, these ideas may challenge your beliefs and might even feel a little uncomfortable. Many of us hold the idea that our partner should be, or must be, EVERYTHING to us. But it simply does not work that way. Here's what Beck reports, and I agree, are the five statements we must be able to recite about our partner:

I can live without you, no problem.

My love for you will definitely change.

You're not everything I need.

I won't always hold you close.

You and I aren't one.

What are your thoughts on this?

Can you use the above statements to describe your most intimate relationship? Does your relationship consist of two whole and separate people coming together, or have you/do you give up a sense of yourself as an individual to merge with your partner? I believe we sometimes get confused about the difference between healthy intimacy and unhealthy (and ultimately unsatisfying) enmeshment. I know, these ideas may push a few buttons. It's OK. I welcome your comments.