Psychotherapist's Journal - Thoughts and Tools to Inspire Wellness in Mind and Body - by Karen Gorrin

The Invitation - A Native American Prayer

What a gift I stumbled upon today. I was organizing some papers when I re-discovered this beautiful Native American prayer, The Invitation, adapted by Elder Oriah Mountain Dreamer. I had included the prayer in an interfaith chapel service I led at Swedish Medical Center several years ago while I trained and worked there as a pastoral counselor.

May you accept the invitation of this prayer, drink in the challenge of the words, listen closely as you deepen your relationship with yourself, hearing the truth of who you are, noticing what's working, and noticing where you might choose differently.

As a suggestion, you could follow your reading of this prayer with time for quiet reflection or journaling. You might also offer this invitation to someone special in your life. What a fabulous conversation you could have!

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living, how old you are, or how much money you have, whom you know, or how you came to be here.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

Awaken to a Great Day

This beautiful presentation was forwarded to me by my colleague Kris Stockwell, an acupuncturist in Tacoma. Click here to view the multimedia presentation (note it may take a couple of minutes to load) or just enjoy the inspirational words below. Wishing you a GREAT day.

Awaken
by Ralph S. Marston, Jr.

In your life
A new day is dawning
Awaken and touch the beauty

Wherever you've come from
Whatever you've been
New possibilities beckon
Right here and now
Awaken and make them real

There was a time when you held in your heart
The most magnificent of dreams
A time when life seemed to carry
Endless promises and possibilities

Those dreams are still with you
Awaken and bring them to life

What you long for
Is longing for you
What you dream of
Is what you are meant to create

Power of Ritual at the American Cancer Society

Yesterday I had the great privilege of leading a training for the Quality of Life team at the American Cancer Society Seattle office. I had been invited to speak about greif and loss, and to design a ritual to support the patient navigaotrs in their work with patients.

Ritual is a tool that encourages us to express ourselves though story, symbol, and action. The power of ritual, no matter how simple, is not to be underestimated. Have you ever noticed that ritual can last a moment - as in lighting a candle, or it can last for hours - with song, dance, drumming, and costumes? Ritual may be used to request a healing, honor a transformation, or communicate with the divine.

For some people, ritual is experienced as a form of prayer - a conversation with God, or higher spiritual power. Anthropologists tell us we are experiencing a revival of ritual, possibly because ritual offers an experience that can be "spiritual but not religious."

For yesterday's ritual, I carefully selected a piece of music that had recently been introduced to me by my colleagues at Mind/Body Associates International. The song, Devi Prayer, comes from the album, 108 Sacred Chants of Mother Divine by Craig Pruess & Ananda. It is a beautiful, meditative chant that I find evokes calm and serenity.

We began yesterday's ritual with a guided meditation, designed to create stillness in mind and body. Then, each participant was invited to select a river rock from a large bowl. The rock was to symbolize people the patient navigator had supported but are no longer working with, either because of recovery or death.

An Idea Worth Spreading

One of my areas of inquiry these days is the brain. I am fascinated by the neuropsychology of how we learn, come to know the experience of love, form and hold our belief systems, and so much more. (See one of my favorite books about the brain, A General Theory of Love.)

So you can imagine I was thrilled when my colleague Sue Ann Birdwell, a family therapist in Kirkland, sent me the below link. I think you'll enjoy listening to brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor's speech from the recent TED conference. It's a powerful account of her experience watching her own stroke unfold, and reveals surprising insights into the very nature of life itself.

In the Quietness of this Place

With gratitude to my friend and colleague Rachel Whalley, for sharing the following essay with me yesterday over lunch. Written by Howard Thurman and excepted from his book, For the Inward Journey, may these eloquent words bring comfort in moments of despair:

"Despite the dullness and barrenness of the days that pass, if I search with due diligence, I can always find a deposit left by some former radiance. But I had forgotten. At the time it was full-orbed, glorious and resplendent. I was sure that I would never forget. In the moment of fullness, I was sure that it would illumine my path for all the rest of my journey. I had forgotten how easy it is to forget. There was no intent to betray what seemed so sure at the time. My response was whole, clean, authentic. But little by little, there crept into my life the dust and grit of the journey. Details, lower-level demands, all kinds of crosscurrents—nothing momentous, nothing overwhelming, nothing flagrant—just wear and tear. If there had been some direct challenge—a clear-cut issue—I would have fought it to the end, and beyond. In the quietness of this place, surrounded by the all-pervading Presence of God, my heart whispers: Keep fresh before me the moments of my High Resolve, that in fair weather or in foul, in good times or in tempests, in the days when the darkness and the foe are nameless or familiar, I may not forget that to which my life is committed. Keep fresh before me the moments of my high resolve."

Sacred Space

I believe the places where we spend our time affect who we are and who we become. If we wish to cultivate compassion in our lives, creating sacred space may be one way to begin.

Sacred space is healing. Sacred space can help us facilitate a sense of renewal and hope. It can be our sanctuary of peace and beauty, our personal oasis of stillness. Sacred space can be the retreat we create for ourselves right within our own homes. It is like slowly breathing out ... as we release what we no longer need and make room to fully drop back into ourselves.

One of my sacred spaces is my outdoor deck that overlooks Tiger Mountain. (Click the pictures to see the whole photo.) This is my sanctuary. It is the place I come to meditate, to write, to reflect, and to reconnect. I consider it a room within my home, and although outdoors it is not really separate at all, but connected to the whole of me. Cozy and comfortable, this place feeds my soul and warms my heart.

I carefully selected the pieces that adorn this place, and arranged them with intention to radiate nourishment, positive energy and healing. Wind chimes, flowers, candles, comfy chairs, and artwork. Sometimes my sanctuary is a place of solitude only for me. At other times it is a place I open to share with friends and loved ones. At ALL times, I find comfort and renewal in this place. I am deeply grateful for this unique and sacred space. Ahhh...

In the News: Compassion

Why do some people roll with life’s punches, facing failures and problems with grace, while others dwell on calamities, criticize themselves and exaggerate problems? This is the question asked in an article posted this week at physorg.com

I appreciated reading this article, which I found fascinating and very valuable to my work as a psychotherapist. The answer, according to recent research from Duke and Wake Forest Univeristies, may be our ability to self-soothe with compassion. Referred to as self-compassion, it is the ability we hold to be kind to ourselves, even when things are going badly.

In one of the first major studies of self-compassion, Duke and Wake Forest Universities published the results of their research in the May 2007 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

In my psychotherapy practice I often encourage my clients who are experiencing distress to imagine compassion gently flowing over themselves. To feel a sense of compassion for the pain and dis-ease we are experiencing often helps to lessen the pain, and returns our attention to a still and calm place within ourselves.

“Life’s tough enough with little things that happen," says Mark R. Leary, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke and lead author of the paper, which includes five peer-reviewed studies. "Self-compassion helps to eliminate a lot of the anger, depression and pain we experience when things go badly for us.”

The Buddhists have long understood the virtue of compassion for thousands of years. In fact, there is even an entire meditation tradition devoted to the practice of compassion and loving-kindness known in Pali as Metta. (I'll write more about this practice in an upcoming post.)

“American society has spent a great deal of time and effort trying to promote people’s self-esteem,” Leary said, “when a far more important ingredient of well-being may be self-compassion.”

Read more about this research at by clicking here.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull

I believe I met Jonathan Livingston Seagull this evening.

I was taking the ferry home from Harmony Hill Cancer Retreat Center, where I had just spent this beautiful day facilitating a Tools for the Journey retreat for MultiCare patients and thier caregivers.

While on the top deck watching the sun set over the Olympics, I stood in amazement as Jonathan flew just inches above my head for the entire hour-long fery ride.

I had never been quite so close to a bird in flight, and I am still somewhat at a loss of words to describe the sensation, other than magnificant. It was flow and power and grace and beauty. Just simply MAGNIFICANT.

The experience brought my attention back to the story I had read so many years ago. Jonathan Livingston Seagull, a talented young gull, befriended the wisest gull in his community, named Chiang. Chiang took Jonathan beyond his previous learning, teaching him how to move instantaneously to anywhere in the universe. The secret, Chiang tells him, is to “begin by knowing that you have already arrived”.

Great advice for achieving one's dreams. Thank you dear Jonathan, for coming to share your wisdom with me. I feel blessed for the experience.

Healing - What's it all About?

Interesting question. What is HEALING? For some of us, the idea of healing is to "go back to the way things used to be" And yet for me, healing is about "moving cloer to who we really are." Healing is acceptance and gratitude. Healing is about love.

Is it ever really possible to go back to the way things used to be? I do not believe so. Life moves in a forward direction at all times. Certainly we move into, and then through experences, and we do so always by traveling forward. Healing, then, is about moving though an experience without grasping, in a way that makes us more available to receive the next experience in our lives. We actually become more available for life by being more deeply connected to ourselves. We actually become more whole by being more present.

What are your ideas and beliefs about healing? What is your personal experience? What beliefs do you hold onto about the meaning, purpose, or intention of healing? How do you recognize healing, and how do you know when it's lacking? I hope to hear from you.

Announcing The Five Wishes

Are you familiar with The Five Wishes? It is an an easy-to-use legal document that lets adults of all ages plan how they want to be cared for in the event they become seriously ill. Most agree that planning ahead gives people control over their medical care, as well as the peace of mind that comes from expressing their wishes and knowing the wishes of their loved ones. Medical, personal, emotional and spiritual needs are addressed. At the workshops we'll talk about the provocative issue: how do I wish to be treated should I one day be unable to speak for myself?

If the idea of planning ahead for illness sounds just plain depressing, let's take a look at this from another angle: We all know that one day we will die, right? Many of us hope that we will pass quietly in the night, without a fuss. And for many of us, this is just exactly the way it will be. Sometimes, however, we are faced with a turn of events that was not anticipated. And sometimes, these events leave us unable to fully express our wants and needs. The Five Wishes document gives us the opportunity while we are still healthy (and hopefully we will always remain healthy) to express are choices in the event we are one day unable to express ourselves. What is more, The Five Wishes relieves our family from the burden of making the decisions they can only hope we would have wanted. This way, our family knows with certainty they have fulfilled our wishes.

I will be faciliating two upcoming Five Wishes workshops. At each session, participants will receive a copy of the The Five Wishes for personal use. Copies may also be obtained by contacting Aging with Dignity. I also present The Five Wishes at Work sessions for businesses and corporate environments. Contact me for more information or to schedule a workplace program.

To register for the public programs, please call the numbers below.

Wednesday, May 2 at 6:00 PM
The Women's Center at the University of Washington
Meets in Seattle - call 206/685.1090

Thursday, May 3 at 12:30 PM
The Senior's Group at Stroum Jewish Community Center
Meets on Mercer Island - call 206/232.7115

Graditude in the Most Unexpected Places

Thank you Whole Foods Market. As I meandered through your store today, making my way to the salad bar, via the gift and candle area, this beautifully designed journal and words caught my attention: "Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith."

Wow. I had been focusing on the question, "How can I best serve?" when just this morning, not long before entering the store, an answer came to me that was different from the one I had expected to hear. You know that moment of recognition, when the still, small voice is heard, yet the doubting mind is unsure just what to "do" with the information? That's where I was this morning: hanging out in the middle of the tight rope, not quite sure how or where to take the next step.

Thank you Anahata Joy Katkin, for the divine design that caught my attention this beautiful early spring day. Thank you Rev. Margaret Shephard, for the inspirational words that sent shivers down my spine. Thank you PaPaYa! Creative Abandon, for the wisdom to produce and distribute this little gem. My gratitude extends to all of you - for bringing together the message I needed to hear, at a moment, and in a way, that I could receive the sacred gift. It's no surprise that I also purchased this journal, and have placed it upon my desk, where I will continue to be reminded of what my soul already knows to be true: Sometimes the only available transportation is a leap of faith. Ahhh...You Go, Girl.

Hello Babies, Welcome to Earth!

When Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. first wrote these words in his book, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater his character Eliot Rosewater was about to baptize newborn twins. "What will you do? What will you say?" another character asked him.

"Oh - I don't know." Eliot's sorrow and exhaustion dropped away for a moment as he became enchanted by the problem. A birdy little smile played over his lips.

"Go over to her shack, I guess. Sprinkle some water on the babies, say, 'Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies: 'God damn it, you've got to be kind.'"

As I place pen to page on the first entry of this Psychotherapist's Journal, I wonder to myself, "What will I do? What will I say?"

At the outside, this journal will be about embodiment — and all the joys and struggles that come with being spiritual beings within the limitations and opportunities of a body. The one rule I know: We are all whole people, with a mind, body and spirit that work together.

Most of us experience illness with these bodies, whether our own or that of a loved one. Often, but not always, the experience of receiving a diagnosis jolts us into an unknown and uncertain world of questions without answers. We learn, much to our dismay, that medicine is more art than science. We wonder how our bodies could have betrayed us, and why our bodies betrayed us, and where was God while all this was happening anyway? Other times, for some of us, the lightening jolt of illness is the certain moment that confirms our faith: We surrender to the experience of embodiment.

I believe illness is the shadowy cloak that surrounds the light of wellness. This journal will explore this point — through my lens as a psychotherapist — and through my lens as a woman who has lived with chronic and life-threatening illness herself, both my own and that of my loved ones.

I look forward to the discovery this journal will bring, and I'm already curious about the unexpected twists and turns that are sure to join me along the way.

Finally, the title of this post is also fitting because today happens to be my birthday. What better date to begin this journal, than on my natural day of reflection and gratitude of my own embodied experience, as I celebrate my 42nd year on earth.

Warm regards ...